2010 Predictions

This is a revelation: I am a seer. Yes, I possess powers normal beings fail to have: ESP. You know those instances when a vivid picture of a situation suddenly flashed in your mind and right then and there, as if on cue, it happens? Or a sudden surge of instinct tells you what card will be dealt next while playing tong-its? I have those. Most of the time.

And now another year has just kicked off, my mind started barfing visions of the events that will transpire in the next 365 and ¼ days. Here are my startling predictions:

1. Marian Rivera will be dumb (as in mute).

2. There will be an antidote for MELASON (yes, I’m a KJ).

3. Aljur and Kris will finally learn how to act.

4. The EB Babes will finally learn what synchronicity means (mind you, I like the EB Babes, hehe).

5. Manny Pacquiao will have a straight vision (I mean, you know, he’ll concentrate on boxing alone).

6. Ana Ivanovic will win a Grand Slam. <3

7. BF will be the next veep.

8. Jojo Binay will come out of the dark and will realize what hypocrisy means.

9. PGMA will fall in a manhole.

10. Manholes will fill the Palace.

11. Ladies who leave their hair untied while riding a jeepney will be burned at the stake.

12. Spitting in public will earn you a one-way ticket to Muntinlupa.

13. There will be no more pickpockets on footbridges.

14. People will learn how to dispose their trash properly.

15. There will be no more floods.

16. The Philippines will be a first world country.

17. Badong will soon find where his missing properties are.

18. Badong and his group will have passing marks in their thesis defense.

19. Badong’s thesis will be hailed as the most outstanding thesis in the land.

20. Badong will IMMEDIATELY find a job (after bumming for four months).

21. Badong will have lesser grammatical errors.

22. Badong will make it to the headlines (not as a criminal, hopefully).

23. Badong will lessen his parenthetical remarks (I’ll try).

24. Badong will not be corny (I’ll really try).

25. Badong will –

Fine! Fine! I’m a fraud. I’m no Nostradamus or a Madam Auring (thankfully). You can now stab me zealously. This article simply sprang forth because of the absurdity of the predictions from these self-proclaimed psychics I see on TV. Just consider this particular prediction: Prepare for an intensity 6 earthquake that will hit the Philippines especially the Metro Manila area during the third quarter of the year. Mmm-kay. PREPARE for an earthquake. That sounds practical. Should I tie our furniture items to the wall come July? Ridiculous.

This is a revelation: I am a liar. But call me a visionary instead.

How Cholo and Jodi Almost Made Me Cry

LOL.

I have never seen an entire episode of the local adaptation of Stairway To Heaven, not even if I was a semi-regular viewer of the original thing. But since I have this strong fetish for tragic endings (especially on love stories), I bothered to take some time to catch the last few moments of its final episode aired last night.

Tragic endings.

I simply love sad endings as much as happy ones. I scavenge for stories that conclude with goodbyes or better, death. It all started with Jack and Rose, and then amplified hugely by Jamie and Landon. Here comes my emo side. Gah.

Now back to Stairway To Heaven. I actually assumed the ending would verge on being cheesy to trashy, but I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t that dreadful. Had Rhian Ramos acted better, I think the ending would be a grand slam. My eyes almost welled up. Just almost.

So I was really getting into Jodi’s death scene (with Jodi bidding goodbye and Cholo telling her to hold on just for a couple more seconds) then the maddening voice of Regine Velasquez suddenly played on the background. Hate that part right there. Worse, a CGI-ed ‘stairway to heaven’ materialized and some glorious rays of sunlight and floating orbs to match. Er, what was that, seriously? I almost felt like a heavenly being would descend to fetch Jodi up, or a sea creature would emerge from the vastness of the sea to strangle Cholo down back to Atlantika.

I cried of laughter.

On Time

I don’t usually wear a watch as it makes me very uncomfortable. Save for those instances that it was presented to me in gift wrap, I never really had much use of this useful, little contraption. I pretty much rely on my handy dandy phone to keep me updated of the time.

So just imagine my agony yesterday morning when my phone’s battery suddenly went off while I’m waiting for a jeepney to work. Thirty minutes or so of waiting for a PUV with a vacant space was sheer torture, especially if you have no sense of time at all. Add another thirty minutes or so of being stuck in traffic almost took away my sanity. At that point I know I’m going to be late. No, I wasn’t worried about being reprimanded by my superiors. It’s just that I detest not beating the clock.

Filipino Time

I hate being late. Have I said it already? I simply hate it. And I abhor people who are always late. Especially those who are even PROUD of it.

Have you encountered such lowly beings? I sure know a few of them. Setting up a meeting time with those imps would be a futile effort as proven by these instances:

Mr. Punctuality: OK, so we will meet tomorrow at 7 AM. SHARP.

Mr. Tardiness: Alright. But I’ll probably arrive at 8 so don’t expect too much.

OR

Seven? I normally wake up at around that time. But yeah, sure! Seven!

OR

Sure thing! I’ll leave the house tomorrow at 7 AM. SHARP. *grins*

Know what’s irritating in those situations? It’s when those beings cheerfully proclaim to the world that punctuality is not in their dictionary. Like they deserve a medal of valor or something. Like it makes them cute. Fudge you.

No, I’m not being self-righteous here. As stated above, I’m not always Mr. Punctuality, but only on three kinds of situations:

1. I slept too much;

2. I don’t feel like going to my appointment and;

3. Friggin’ traffic jam.

*4. (Bonus) I know I would be dealing with Mr. /Ms. Tardiness (Baaad!)

Please, don’t blame it on Filipino Time. The sustained existence of this habit results from people’s conscious recollection of the deed. There is Filipino Time because people think that there IS Filipino Time. There are tardy people because they think that there WILL be tardy people.

Bato- bato sa langit ang tamaan wag magalit.

Offline

Now that I’m counting only a couple of months till graduation, it’s not unusual for me to be exposed to a lot of tasks and responsibilities necessary for me to get that friggin’ piece of parchment called ‘diploma’. Stuff like studying for our exams, creating a unique, innovative, marketable product for Consumer Behavior, making a novel-based comic book for that effin’ World Literature, catching cockroaches, mosquitoes and all them disease-causing minute creatures for Microbiology and Parasitology, finding a reputable company where I can have my OJT, and most importantly, accomplishing our thesis which, until now, is only half-way done, and so forth (mind you, my major’s Psychology, though the subjects don’t reflect).

So yes, I’m exposed to a whole lot of stressors. But that was it. I’m only exposed, not really stressed. For I’m not doing everything I have to do to ‘feel the stress’. Some people blame it on my slothful tendencies. But me? I blame it on the Internet.

I know it’s not right, but I’m starting to notice that my whole life’s slowly being taken over by technology, especially the WWW. I feel edgy whenever I fail to go online to blog-hop, or check my Facebook and email accounts, or even get trivial updates on Yahoo! I go online more often than I should perform more essential duties. Internet addiction? Well, I hope I’m not there yet.

So, trying to break the habit, I had a self-imposed Internet-free day. That is one whole day of not clicking Google Chrome on my desktop and doing those things that I’m trying to, wanting to, and should do. And the outcomes were quite satisfying (Note that I got home yesterday at around 6:30 PM):

1. I was able to re-read and re-edit our thesis;

2. I was able to clear out the junkyard that is my room;

3. I was able to read several chapters of the book I’m trying to finish;

4. I was able to edit the uber TH (trying hard) music video I made; and

5. Again, I was able to make a blog entry!

So the attempt was an epic success. I felt thrilled by the thought that I could last a day without the Internet. And by 12:01 AM, I’m back to the online world again.

Harry Potter and the Theater Imps

Yes, this is intended to be a Harry Potter post but I decided not going to make a review about it. Let’s just say the movie was superb. Probably six times better than the previous one (Order of the Phoenix; Prizoner of Azkaban remains on top of my list). Instead, I want to tell you about the ‘theater imps’.

They hide themselves inside the cold, dark corners of every movie theater. They are the small, shrill voices you hear in the background that definitely ruin your watching stint. No, they are not ghosts nor are they supernatural beings. They’re completely human and they’re utterly irritating.

They are more likely to show up in novel-based movies. But they could also spread doom in practically any movie, provided they are highly anticipated. They often express their grudge over the distorted story-telling (“Oh, bakit yun na agad?” or “Ganito dapat yung sasabihin niya…!” ) but more often they will spoil the next scene (“Tapos ang mangyayari dyan…” or “Ayan na, ayan na!” ). And like an over-eager Lola Basyang, they will tell the rest of the story to their innocent member and devastate the moment of their neighbors.

Hey, theater imps, do you really think you’re cute? Fine, you loooove the book. You know every inch of the novel by heart. But do you honestly expect the producers to translate it to film word for word? Maybe you misinterpreted the word ‘adapted’ and thought it’s synonymous to ‘verbatim’? Or perhaps you’ve already seen the movie or read the synopsis and reviews beforehand. But do you really have to spoil it? If you couldn’t help your mouth, then please, help it. Fudge you.

So to the hardworking law-makers of this wonderful country, I propose you pass a law regarding illegal chit-chatting inside the theater. ‘Illegal chit-chatting’, to avoid ambiguity, refers to re-telling the story of a novel-based movie and spoiling the next scene in the movie he/she already watched. Law offenders will be required to recite the whole film verbatim. Failure to do so will put them to eternal damnation. What a lovely country this would be!

But then again, we are all guilty.

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Bagyo, Baha, Buhol

[Note: Kagabi pa talaga tong post nato kaso dahil sa nawalan kami ng Internet connection, ngayon ko lang siya na-publish.]


Saktong uwian na namin nang parang on cue na bumuhos ang napakalakas na ulan. Dahil atat nang umuwi, lakas-loob naming sinuong ang nangangalit na kalikasan, walang kamalay-malay na may bagyo na pala. Wala pang 5 mminuto at nandyan na ang ka-tandem niyang baha. At kapag nagsama na sila, isa lang ang kalalabasan – trapik.

Magta-tatlong oras na kong nakasakay sa dyip pero malayo pa ko sa dapat kong babaan. Wala naman akong reklamo sa trapik, pero nung nagsimula na kong murahin ng pwet ko, parang bigla kong ginustong maging chairman ng MMDA.

At para naman maibsan ang pagkabagot at para masabi kong worthwhile ang biyahe ko, sari-saring mga bagay na ang nagawa ko:

1. Matulog.

2. Picturan ang mga kasamahan kong tulog.

3. Maki-sing along kay Akon at Cris Brown na pinapatugtog ni Manong Drayber.

4. Gumawa ng mga sentences base sa mg plate number (ex. ILY = ‘I Love You’; UMD = Ur so Maarte, Duh).

5. Wag isiping baka hindi na mapanood ang Boys Over Flowers.

6. Wag isiping naje-jebs na (torture to).

7. Mag-isip kung paano isusulat ang article na to.

Pero sa huli, nauwi rin ako sa paglalakad.*buntong hininga*

So what did I learn today? One word: PATIENCE.

Naalala ko tuloy yung passage na natutunan ko nung high school: “…I asked for patience and God put into situations wherein I have to wait…”

At least ngayon masasabi ko na, patience is finally one of my virtues.

An Open Letter to the Devil's Advocate

So it's Goodbye now for us. Finally.

I cannot say that time flies fast 'coz each class we have with you was dragging, every bit of second spent (wasted?) was sacrifice. Every time you enter the room you out us all in a defensive mode, anticipating the shrapnel-like tirades about our awful 'mistakes'. Mistakes that you just made all up. And if we ever have one, it's the only thing that you'd see.

Instead of providing us the essentials, you shower us your 'destructive criticisms', which will all boil down to one thing -- WE LEARN NOTHING. Heck, as if you teach us something.

You are the mother of ironies. You regard yourself as a mentor yet you don't understand how we, students feel. You talk about Psychology yet you act as if you haven't got a speck of idea of how our minds work. So didn't learn anything now?

It's sad. 'Coz I give teachers (though you seriously don't deserve to be called such) my deepest admiration but knowing someone like you? I think i'll have a second thought in generalizing.

You are nothing. You impulsive, self-indulgent hag.

Ang Plastik Mo!

Well, this is something that popped out of my silly mind just recently. I realized, even if everybody, as in everybody stops using plastic bags in their evryday lives, but if the plastic manufacturing industries doesn't ceases, nothing will happen at all! For crying out loud, just imagine what will these manufacturers do to their wasted products. Surely they will not use them as fetilizers, right? What should be done is not to stop using plastics but to extinguish all of those plastic manufacturing companies! But I guess that would be a tall order. Hey, I made a point, right?

Grave Talk

I was a bit preoccupied doing other pointless stuff these past few days so it was gravely shameful to admit that I have little idea of what’s going on this country for quite a while now. Finally last night, I decided to watch the entirety of 24 Oras to refresh my awareness. I was expecting to hear usual stuff like rice shortages or another MMDA demolition job but I was thinking frivolously. It was far worse than I expected. The following are of grave impact to me:

· Oil price hikes (Again?). This topic was actually brought up by one of my Korean students yesterday and I almost cursed him for doing so. Of all the news have I been hearing everyday, this is one of those that have less importance to me. I don’t have a speck of an idea on oil trading or this controversial Oil Deregulation Law. What the hell do I care about oil prices? Why should I give a damn when I don’t even have my own car yet? It was just then that it finally sank into me why it is one of the root causes of the corrosion of this economy. And that I am gravely embarrassed of.
· Inflation rate had shot up to 8.3% this month. Talk about economics here. I actually have veeery minimal knowledge of this subject (that I am not embarrassed to admit) -- thanks to my carcinogenic professor—but as far as I know, inflation is the general large increase in the prices of goods and services. And 8.3% as compared to last month's 6.4%? That only means the prices are enjoying their stay there on top of the bar graph with our mothers’ purses suffering.
· MERALCO’s Systems Loss Charges. Now what the funk is this? I’m sorry but as what my simple mind comprehended it, this über egoistical electric company will now start putting up charges on the ‘lost’ money we, people are not even accountable for. I don’t give a damn whether it is acceptable by the law or not for in the end it will remain UNFAIR. Not to mention the plethora of taxes imposed on electricity alone. PoTAXteng buhay to…

Unfortunately I can do nothing right now save to throw rants and get peeved by our condition. I cannot totally blame the malfunctioning government for everything. Whose fault is it anyway but us? Who put that wicked liliputian in the high seat in the first place? WE did! For the reason that we though of her as the ‘lesser evil’ back then. What we forgot to consider is no matter how ‘less’ of an evil she is, she will always remain EVIL. It is our impatience that caused us our misery and now we have to bear the grave consequences.

Ironic -- Moronic

The Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) is now implementing stricter measures regarding the distribution of the so-called ‘access cards’ that is supposed to be used in order to purchase the apparently cheaper NFA rice. This is to avoid all the long lines and unfair mass purchasing of NFA rice that leaves the ‘poorest of the poor’ empty-handed at the end of the day. On the other hand, if you can remember, this brilliant government had once claimed that there must be no need for worrying since there is no rice shortage here in the Philippines.

Ah. Now that makes sense to me.

Gotcha!

The fish will always be caught through its mouth.

Upon the declaration of her Tita Anna’s decision to leave the PBB house, Kuya’s little pet imp, Josef, openly wept in front of the other housemates. Apparently, according to fatso, the main reason behind this devastatingly irritating bogus weeping is he is sooo concerned about her aunt’s physical and emotional well-being. Yeah, and I'm George Clooney.

Aha! But here’s the catch. During last Saturday’s episode, where he was allowed to talk to his father regarding the matter, Josef overtly expressed his rants about his Tita Anna’s decision. He almost—almost—condemned her aunt for not considering all the hardships he had partaken just to get inside the big yellow house, for thinking only of herself and not his own sake. So he really is concerned—not for her aunt, but for his own goodwill.

The truth, though impliedly stated, was already revealed. And it came straight from the big fish’s mouth.

Lasalista Pala Si Big Brother

I hate it. The favoritism. The just hate it.
From the very first season of Pinoy Big Brother (PBB) up to its latest offering, favoritism has been circulating inside the “most famous house in the world”, producing the likes of Kim Chiu and Wendy Valdez, unworthy and irritating.

So who’s the latest ‘Kuya’s pet’? I really don’t have to say that it’s Josef cause it’s straightforwardly obvious (just count the number of his appearances as compared to the other housemates and you’ll see). So much attention was being given to him. Almost every special task was assigned to him; he already had one long before his feet touch the concrete outside the house! Even the micro-miniest of all tasks such as calling a housemate or watching others perform while they do a task was being give to him! Aren’t there any housemates inside? And I wouldn’t mention how the fat imps attitude irks me to death!

Man, too much exposure and too bad attitude, means he MUST leave. NOW.

OK. Now everybody’s mad at me.