Friday, January 1, 2010

2010 Predictions

This is a revelation: I am a seer. Yes, I possess powers normal beings fail to have: ESP. You know those instances when a vivid picture of a situation suddenly flashed in your mind and right then and there, as if on cue, it happens? Or a sudden surge of instinct tells you what card will be dealt next while playing tong-its? I have those. Most of the time.

And now another year has just kicked off, my mind started barfing visions of the events that will transpire in the next 365 and ¼ days. Here are my startling predictions:

1. Marian Rivera will be dumb (as in mute).
2. There will be an antidote for MELASON (yes, I’m a KJ).
3. Aljur and Kris will finally learn how to act.
4. The EB Babes will finally learn what synchronicity means (mind you, I like the EB Babes, hehe).
5. Manny Pacquiao will have a straight vision (I mean, you know, he’ll concentrate on boxing alone).
6. Ana Ivanovic will win a Grand Slam. <3
7. BF will be the next veep.
8. Jojo Binay will come out of the dark and will realize what hypocrisy means.
9. PGMA will fall in a manhole.
10. Manholes will fill the Palace.
11. Ladies who leave their hair untied while riding a jeepney will be burned at the stake.
12. Spitting in public will earn you a one-way ticket to Muntinlupa.
13. There will be no more pickpockets on footbridges.
14. People will learn how to dispose their trash properly.
15. There will be no more floods.
16. The Philippines will be a first world country.
17. Badong will soon find where his missing properties are.
18. Badong and his group will have passing marks in their thesis defense.
19. Badong’s thesis will be hailed as the most outstanding thesis in the land.
20. Badong will IMMEDIATELY find a job (after bumming for four months).
21. Badong will have lesser grammatical errors.
22. Badong will make it to the headlines (not as a criminal, hopefully).
23. Badong will lessen his parenthetical remarks (I’ll try).
24. Badong will not be corny (I’ll really try).
25. Badong will –

Fine! Fine! I’m a fraud. I’m no Nostradamus or a Madam Auring (thankfully). You can now stab me zealously. This article simply sprang forth because of the absurdity of the predictions from these self-proclaimed psychics I see on TV. Just consider this particular prediction: Prepare for an intensity 6 earthquake that will hit the Philippines especially the Metro Manila area during the third quarter of the year. Mmm-kay. PREPARE for an earthquake. That sounds practical. Should I tie our furniture items to the wall come July? Ridiculous.

This is a revelation: I am a liar. But call me a visionary instead.

40 Comments:

gege said...

2, 3, 18...
^ - ^
This is a revelation: I am a liar. But call me a visionary instead.
wooOooOOoh!! (Life Giver tone.)

pmm012 said...

unlike you, i actually have ESP.. im just so scared that i have it that i quit practicing it.. its creepy.. hahahah.. you can ask my room mates in college. we ran out of our room when i successfully guessed the cards my friend was holding (3 consecutive times), tapos sabi nila may dilang anghel daw ako.. hahahahah.. it might be coincidence but its still creepy.. SO, as for you, i SEE that your year will be fruitful and all your endeavors will pay off.. get back to me after a year and tell me if i still have the gift.. :-)

Badong said...

BADONG: ano yung 2, 3, 18?

PMM: actually, madami rin akong instances na ganyan. honestly! pero hindi madalas. and yung ibang hula medyo based on logic lang. hehe

The Pope said...

9 and 11, I love it hahahaha.

From the Arabian Gulf, I am wishing you and your family a blessed New Year.

gege said...

badong???
ako ba yun?
ahaha!
yung #'s
2,3,18...
sa mga vision mo..
natuwa ako.
ayun lang...
ahaha!
ang lalim ba?
hehe
:P

Xprosaic said...

hahahahahahha adik ka sa #9 saka medyo may bahid ng bitter ang #13... wahahahahahaha...

happy new year badong!

Anonymous said...

Brilliant Badong. It's a shame TV Stations pay Madam Auring and other noob psychics when they can get you instead. I mean, who would ever know that MARIAN WILL BE DUMB? Wow. January 1 palang ata eh napatunayan na nya yan. Galeng!

Oh and I wish you all the luck on trying to find a job. More luck on the job itself. You know how much I hated HR. May you not fall into the same trap. :)

minatots said...

Yep. Burn all girls leaving their hair untied while riding the jeepney! I'll supply the gas. Ilang beses na kong naimbyerna at minsan na ring nanita ng mga babaing feeling ata nasa shampoo commercial sila. :D

Arvin U. de la Peña said...

nabasa ko rin sa diaryo ang prediction na si marian rivera ay magbubuntis daw..pero maingat yata ang babae na iyan..tiyak pagagamitin lagi ng condom si dingdong dantes o di kaya ay iyong safe siya sakali mag sex sila,hehe..mahirap naman kung withdrawal lagi kasi baka sumablay..joke..

Arvin U. de la Peña said...

kahit di na mahulog sa manhole..ang importante lang ay di na siya tumakbo pa sa kongreso..nakamit na niya ang pinakamataas na posisyon kaya dapat ay makuntento na siya..wala naman yatang kakuntentuhan ang tao na iyon..

Kosa said...

ang kuleeeet!

missing property? just like..?
asawa? shota? hehe. property ba sila? wahhh. jokeness

happy new year parekoy

Anonymous said...

ang lalim ah. muntik na akon nalunod! hahaha.
nice post :)

Badong said...

POPE: hello Pope! welcome back dito sa bahay ko! hehe. Naway maging maligaya at mapayapa rin ang bagong taong ito para sa inyo!

GEGE: GEGE. o ayan. sorry. tao lang. haha

Badong said...

XPROSAIC: happy new year jaydee! o medyo bitter pa talaga ako sa mga mandurukot na yan! hehe

VAJRAL: I know, right? LOL! ipako sa krus yang mga mapag-panggap na psychics na yan! hehe.
re HR. naku, sa totoo lang, suko na rin ako! Magse-second course na lang ako!

Badong said...

MINA:tumpak! makatarungan bang ipakain sa katabi ang bagong rebong na byhok?

ARVIN: hello at welcome sa bahay! naku, si marian mabubuntis? di ba babuntis na na? ay soryy, chismis. hehe. dapat kasi bago umaksyon, proteksyon! hehe. tungkol kay PGMA, I would still be lovely kung mahulog siya sa manhole. hehe

Badong said...

KOSA: missing: calcu. handouts. pera. at kung anu-ano pa. pero mahahanap ko rin yun sa mala-PAyatas kong kwarto. happy new year!

JANUS: hello! I'll pay a visit to your blog. Happy New Year!

KAROGER: lalim ba? haha! Happy New Year!

gege said...

forgiven. :P
(ay... big deal???)
ahaha!

Anonymous said...

Bohahaha. Ano naman ang balak mong kunin? Hindi ko sure pero sabi ng mga naka OJT ko before na taga PUP, may specialized fieled na ata agad kayo. Clinical agad or Industrial. Samen kase pwede kame sa 3 fields, kaya may pag asa pa naman ako sa Clinical na balak kong ipagpatuloy someday.

Kung ganon din sa inyo, hinihikayat kitang mag MA ng Clinical Psych! Hehe.

kaspangarigan said...

Intensity 6 earthquake?

Yan ba yung acquittal ni Ampatuan dahil sa insanity issue?

Nadaan lang po.

minatots said...

Hinde! Kaya ihulog na rin sila sa manhole. Hahaha :D

siyetehan said...

hanggang ngayon eh hindi ko pa rin maintindihan kung bakit ang hilig hilig maniwala ng pinoy sa mga manghuhula.

Badong said...

VAJARL: tumpak. at nagkataong industrial ang kinuha ko. actually second year pa lang e gusto ko ng mag-shift sa CLinical e. kaso, nakakatamad. hehe

KASPARINGAN: Naku Sir sana wag magkatotoo yang sinabi niyo! hehe

Badong said...

MINATOTS: naku buti naintindihan mo yung reply ko. bagong rebond na buhok yun. ahehe, sensya bobo mag-type.

SIYETEHAN: tumpak! pero dati gusto ko ring magpahula sa Quiapo. kahit ngayon. para lang matawa.

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year and Happy Three Kings!

Hahaha. I was really laughing at your predictions. (The funny thing is, I know most of them will come true. Well, not in the package that you mentioned pero I know magkakatotoo ung iba especially the last part).

Thank you for your wonderful blog in 2009; looking forward to reading more of Badong in 2010.

Badong said...

NEBZ: Salamat ng marami Kuya Nebz! postive din ako dun sa mga predictions ko! hehe. May we all have a very wonderful 2010!

ANENG said...

hehehe.. nice premonitions.
dang number 11.. nakakainis nga naman. lalo na pag katabi mo. lasang-lasa mo buhok nya habang pumapaypay sa mukha mo. wth!? hahaha. dumaan lng kuya badong.

gege said...

super sure ka na asar na asar sya nung mga panahon na yon?
BATI na nya kaya ako ngayon?
sana!
pakisabi...
PATAWAD.
babawi ako. ^ - ^

ctdweller said...

For awhile there I thought you really believed that you believe BF will become VP.

Kasi naniniwala ako mananalo sya talaga. Sya lang may track record as an executive.

BTW, di ba from Marikina ka? Or I am mistaking you for another person? he he

Cheers!

sterndal said...

haha

number 22 is very funny!

added you, thanks

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