Monday, August 24, 2009

UPDATED: Four-Point Plan for a Successful Miss Universe Campaign

Ever wonder why Filipinos love beauty pageants? From the smallest barrio to the most prestigious competitions, from girls to guys to the in-betweens, from humans to animals and even lechon, believe me, walang pinalalampas ang Pinoy. However, recent years have shown that our dearest country isn’t having much luck on the most celebrated beauty contest in the world, the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant. So, trying to break the black drought, I propose four simple ways on how to have a successful Miss U campaign:

1. Naturalization of Venezuelans, Puerto Ricans, Brazilians, etc.

Admit it, but the competition has an obvious fetish for Latina beauties. Don't agree? Check Wikipedia. In our case, finding Latina-looking Filipinas could be a great option but when scarcity prevails, let the law take charge. We have a whole lot of Brazilians thriving in our country so make use of them!

2. Mandatory online voting for the Miss Photogenic Award.

One evident sign of the lack of unity in this lovely country is our failure to bag the highly coveted Miss Photogenic award for two consecutive years. That’s TWO CONSECUTIVE years of dearth preceded by a legendary THREE-PEAT. Common guys, make those fingers working! If we couldn’t make it in the top 15, then at least we are assured of a special award. Added exposure is very important.

3. Do it the Miriam way!

Now this goes to the delegate herself. Hold your head up high, toddle on the catwalk as if you’re a ghost floating on air and throw a banana peel you secretly hid behind your sash. Make sure to step on it. Then do the Miriam Quiambao move! See to it that you stand up as graceful as possible and at the end extend your arms to the crowd as if you’re saying “There you go, folks!” Two Miss USAs did it and it proved effective on them so why not give it a try? Audience impact din yon.

4. Use the ever reliable interpreter.

I know we Filipinos are very adept with using the international language, but just for this special event, let's pretend otherwise. For obvious reasons,it will benefit our representative big time. She will have ample time to think and give a very good answer as the question will be posed on her twice. Strategy!

Someday, the Philippines will conquer the universe.

35 Comments:

Mokong™ said...

sayang si ms.philippines ngaun pare..inaasahan ko pa namng makakapasok sya kahit sa top 15 lang.

pmm012 said...

sayang talaga.. pareho pa nman kami ng surname!. By the way. tama k dyan, just look at Kathryn Meirelles, My GOD! i think angels cant be more beautiful....

pmm012 said...

.. i mean priscilla... lucky john estrada!

♥superjaid♥ said...

sayang nga talaga e, di sya nanalo, pero manalo matalo maganda at sexy pa rin sya, kaya ok lang yun, swerte pa rin nya, hahaha ngapala maganda yung tips mo kuya, magawa nga yan kapag ako na ang pambato ng pinas, pamBATO meaning ibabato, wahaha

Badong said...

MOKONG: oo nga e! andami pa namang nagsasabing favorite siya.

PMM: haha! hindi ko nga alam kung anong pinapa-kain nila sa mga tao dun e!

Badong said...

SUPERJAID: haha! basta kelangan praktisin mo yung pagkaka-dulas a!

Badong said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
karoger said...

hahaha. well, miss ko na nga yung ms. photogenic award sa pinas eh. dati tayo yung nananalo dun palagi. kitang kita talaga na medyo hindi na united ang Pilipinas. :)

pangarap ko makapangasawa ng galing sa latin america. hahahaha. ang hot nila ehh. biassed din ako sa kanila. :)

vonfire said...

maybe its about time that BB. Pilipinas organizers should change their standard on chosing a beauty titlist natin. except for india and japan most of oriental/exotic asian beauties natin ay di masyadong nagsu-shine!

Yes, why not chose ung may latina features nway marami namang pinay na may ganyang looks. :}

I am Xprosaic said...

Walang asian nakapasok ano?!... hmmm pero kanya kanyang taste yan sa judges kung ano mas type nila... jejejjejeje... swerte swerte na lang... jijijiji

gillboard said...

kung latina ang hinahanap.. isali dyan si rosalinda... maganda yun...

jccaduldulan said...

At least those Brazilians can make themselves useful. Lol. Actually I have never been a fan of beauty contests. I know some may hate me for this but I still can't see the point of it despite what they have been trying to say to convince people to support it. Something about good relationship with other countries, nationalism, or whatever. Go buy a flag.

Badong said...

KAROGER: sinong bang hindi magiging biased sa kanila? hehe

VONFIRE: I agree. dapat talaga salain nilang mabuti yung mga isasali.

Badong said...

XPROSAIC: oo nga e. next na lang uli!

GILLBOARD: haha! pwede! pwede! kung mas bata at sexy nga lang si Iza Calzado e.

JC: love the last sentence. hehe. pero kung sabagay may punto ka. parang kahit anong sabihin nila, kesyo sa ikabubuti man yun ng mundo o kahit ano pa man, ang tanong: yun ba talaga yung dahilan nila sa pagsali don? ay basta. magaganda sila! pagbigyan mo na! hehe

I am Xprosaic said...

hanap na lang sila sa susunod ng half-Filipina at half-caucasian/latina para kahit sa looks eh pumantay...jijijijijij... kung looks lang habol nila... jijijijij...

elmot l PinoySoundingBoard said...

regarding number one bro: parang basketball ito ah, eheheh!

ayos, for sure sa mga sinulat mo may mananalo na satin..

bakit hindi isama sa curriculum ng school? Wahahah!

Kinder pa lang parampahin na...ehehehe

Badong said...

XPROSAIC: i agree! dapat mag-import na rin tayo!

ELMOT: haha! oo nga, dapat gawin na nating national sport ang mga beauty pageants!

Faherlyours said...

Napakaganda ng iyong mungkahi. Mabuhay ka kapatid. hehehe.Pwedi rin gawan ng paraan maging judge sina Ben Abalos, Garcilliano at Mga Arroyo.Tiyak panalo tayo

Badong said...

FATHERLYOURS: nako! masyado ng obvious na tayo mananalo don! haha! baka di ko na panuorin yun. hehe

Badong said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zorlone said...

Sana next year masunod na ng mga contestants natin ang Four-Point Plan ni Badongskie! Yebba!

Z

isladenebz said...

Natawa naman ako sa post mo. Oo nga, bakit nga ba hindi tayo manalo-nalo?

I'm especially surprised in this year's Ms U. Biro mo, wala man lang kahit 1 Asian ang pumasok sa 15?

Wa feel ni Donald Trump ang Asian beauties?

Sana mabasa ni Araneta ang 4-point plan mo.

deejay said...

agree agree! dapat magpalahi tayo sa mga venezuelans, brazilians and puerto ricans... rp immigration should no longer require visas from beautiful latinas and latinos. free passes are the key! :P :P :P

jan geronimo said...

Love the gentle sarcasm of this post, Badongskie. Winner ka. ahahaha. Pati title ng post - swak na swak parang hinabi galing NEDA. lols.

Di ko na napanuod yan. Dami ko nang di napapanuod gawa ng blogging.

Gawin kayang part of training ng beauty contestants ang blogging? Para mahasa sila sa pag express ng mga sarili nila. They can go the video blogging route. Or a blog with lots of podcasts. Para ma-sharpen naman minds nila.

I nominate Badongskie as blog adviser. Ahahaha

solace2009 said...

1. replace the organizers
2. change the standards set
3. a 3 or 6-month training will not produce clear results.

Badong said...

ZORLONE: nako dapat lang na sundin nila to! hehe

NEBZ: isa ring sana. sana nagbabasa siya ng blogs. hehe. importante kaya to!

Badong said...

DEEJAY: exactly! andami dami nila sa bansa, dapat pakinabangan!

JAN: naku, di ko naman ata deserve maging blog adviser. hehe. pero if given the chance, why not? lol.

SOLACE: wow, eto na yung seryosong mga paraan! dapat talaga mas mahabang preparasyon ang gawin nila. parang sports din yan e. kung kulang ang training, talo.

gege said...

puntahan mo cupcake mo!
daan ka sa akin. :P

si jake...
si jake ang tanging pag-asa ng Pilipinas sa Miss U.

:P

Nobe said...

i will go for number 1! hehe yun na lang gawin natin mananalo talaga tayo. hahaha!

love,
nobe

www.iamnobe.wordpress.com
www.deariago.com

Bailey Baretto said...

ang taray ni picture ni gloria diaz dito ah! winner talga! :)

Nobe said...

have you seen, gloria diaz's daughter isabelle? ang taray ng beauty. hehe. i really find her pretty. girl crush. :)

love,
nobe

www.iamnobe.wordpress.com
www.deariago.com

Badong said...

NOBE: hell yeah!!! sana siya na lang yung sumali!

Jam said...

Hahaha I love this post!

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